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Watch Top of the Pops religiously every week and learn from it. YOU CAN BEGIN ANY SUNDAY EVENING You can begin any Sunday evening by listening to Bruno Brookes introducing the Top 40 Show between 4pm and 7pm.You don’t have to sit down and dissect and study it, just have it on and make the tea. You just want something that’s not going to be offensive and people are going to be happy doing business with. Check that the company name that you have chosen is still sound. You are going to have to get used to getting up earlier; no lying in until noon now.Spend the remainder of the morning amassing the rest of the tools you will need for the job in hand. A record player (the crappier the better as long as it actually works). A hard back note book and a fine point, black ball Pentel.

It is you, though, who will be responsible for bringing back those lost tastes, smells, tears, pangs, forgotten years and missed chances. People equate a Number One with fame, endless wealth and easy sex – a myth that they want to believe and one that the popular press want to see continued.

In years to come people will stagger home down lonely streets singing your song to the strains of regurgitated vindaloo, all memory of who was behind the song lost.

Real bands never get to Number One – unless they are puppets.

If you are in a band you will undoubtedly be aware of the petty squabbles and bitching that develops within them.

Of course there are those artists that have worked long and hard building personal artistic confidence, critical acclaim, a loyal following (all strong foundations) and then have a Number One, that is that crowning glory. What can be achieved when no great financial rewards or long term career prospects allowing for creative freedom can be hoped for, let alone guaranteed? If this book succeeds in becoming Bert Weedon’s “Play In A Day” for some lost month in the late eighties we will be happy. Follow this simple step by step guide: Firstly, you must be skint and on the dole.

Last modified 03-Oct-2019 01:38