Before you go down the breakup route, do have an honest conversation with you and ask: Is this a halfhearted cry for attention from him that I hope will force his hand into making the decision to be with me? This is how you lose credibility and open you up to more pain.
He will just think that you’re crying wolf and it will only be a matter of time until you’re back in the affair hot seat. If you put the focus of the breakup on him, he can make excuses that he means at the time but probably don’t hold up after the event and he’ll make promises that he means at the time but is also unlikely to keep. Remind yourself that he is throwing you the crumbs of his time and his emotions. You’d be surprised at how many women act in secrecy, which actually plays even further into the man’s hands as you are totally at the mercy of whatever he is telling you.
Affairs can be extra tough to walk away from because there’s that fear that you haven’t been understanding and patient enough – you have – and that all pervasive fear that you’re going to break up with Mr Married/Attached just at that moment when he was actually going to leave his wife/girlfriend.
There’s the sense of rejection, loss, and even abandonment that can be activated by an affair.
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Judging from the multitude of responses we have gotten from my essay about internet pornography, pornography is an issue that plagues many relationships.